Potato jokes

Happy potatoesThe folks at Tuberville sometimes have a quirky sense of humor. The jokes we tell can be corny and silly but often times they still make us laugh. Here are a few silly potato jokes, a story and a riddle.

  • How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
  • What do you call a baby potato? A small fry!
  • What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
  • What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It’s mashing!
  • Why did the potato cross the road? He saw a fork up ahead.
  • Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
  • Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.

“I think” said the sweet potato, “therefore I yam”

Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A. Because they keep their eyes peeled.

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner–Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. “Mother Potato?” she said. “I have an announcement to make.”
“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?”

“I’m marrying a Russet!”

“A Russet!” replied Mother Potato with pride.

“Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

As the family shared in the eldest daughter’s joy, the middle daughter spoke up. “Mother? I, too, have an announcement.”

“And what might that be?” encouraged Mother Potato.

Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, “I, too, am getting married!”

“You, too!” Mother Potato said with joy. “That’s wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?”

“I’m marrying an Idaho!” beamed the middle daughter.

“An Idaho!” said Mother Potato with joy. “Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. “Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make.”

“Yes?” said Mother Potato with great anticipation.

“Well,” began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, “I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!”

“Really?” said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. “All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?”

“I’m marrying Peter Jennings!”

“Peter Jennings?!” Mother Potato scowled suddenly. “But he’s just a common tater!”

  • A skin have I, more eyes than one. I can be very nice when I am done. What am I? A potato

If you have any potato stories, jokes, riddles or puns, please email them to tommy.ballard @gmail.com.

Until next time,

Tommy B.

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